


Family

by BecauseWhateverAtAll



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-it, Episode Tag, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Lots of Pep Talks, Past Child Abuse, Sarcasm Scotch and Baby Sloths, Team as Family, Winn's Backstory Didn't End After Age Eleven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 09:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18071084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecauseWhateverAtAll/pseuds/BecauseWhateverAtAll
Summary: “It would have been bad if I had stayed,” she still sounded resolute. None of the wobble to her voice that Winn couldn’t keep out of his.Winn laughed, rubbed at his eyes. “It was bad anyway."(An extra scene to 3.14, because what relationship THAT messed up is fixed with one conversation had over a broken flying monkey?)





	Family

**Author's Note:**

> Note 1: Heyyyyy, long time listener first time caller to the writing thing. I just apparently can't get over the fact that the show had Laurie frakking Metcalfe and Jeremy Jordan as mother and son and did so little with it? And the implications of what Winn's life might have been like after she left? So. Little. So hi! Hi. I'm here to rescue you.
> 
> Note 2: It's in the tags, but trigger warning for some talk about past child abuse.
> 
> Note 3: This is technically a gen fic, because I love the friendships and potential friendships on the show, but if you want to see this as minor shipping or pre-shipping or everyone as one big poly queer ship, go forth! Have fun! Whatever floats your boat! Just don't, like, bash anybody else's boat floating, please. This is a safe floating space.

When they first got back to the DEO, James thought- he really, truly, naively did- that everything was okay now. Winn, for all his hurt and anger, had charged into that warehouse without hesitation and saved his mother despite nearly getting strangled and slicing his own hand almost all the way to the bone to do it. He had sat next to Mary for the entire ride back, demanding more than once for her to tell him if she was actually hurt anywhere, if that crazy-ass woman had done or said anything to her. Protective. Caring.

But it was never going to be that easy, and he should’ve known better. He should’ve known _Winn_ better. Winn always felt things deeper than anyone realized. 

They were in the medbay now, Mary sitting across from Winn as Alex stitched up and bandaged his hand, and her continuously flippant comments and jokes just seemed to add another layer of tension between her son’s shoulders with every passing minute. Alex could sense it too, sending a worried glance James’s way as she peeled off the medical gloves and stood to throw them away.

Kara and Mon-El, back from debriefing J’onn downstairs, entered the medbay just as Mary leaned in to grab at Winn’s hand and examine it, just as Winn flinched away from her and snatched his hand back. “ _Stop_ it,” he growled, twisting away from her. His shoulders were getting hunched and defensive, which James knew meant he was in that mood where he needed a break, he needed some quiet and no one looking at him or talking to him, he needed-

But Mary had no way of knowing that, did she? “Just let me-”

“ _No,_ ” Winn stood abruptly, startling all of them. He turned as though to leave, but Alex was by the door. Kara and Mon-El had moved inside by the lab tables. James was still standing between the two beds. Winn was surrounded. Cornered. “Look, Mom, we talked, yeah, and I understand you a little better than I ever have, but… But one talk doesn’t fix everything.”

“But I explained it,” Mary pushed, not caring that the others were in the room, not caring like Winn obviously cared. “I told you why I had to leave. You know I had to.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to decide things for me now. You stopped being my mother a long time ago. You don’t get to change your mind when it’s convenient for you.”

“Winn,” Kara chided quietly, gently, probably thinking about her issues with her own mother. James could see Mon-El doing the same, and Alex, and hell, even James a little. And he could see Winn see all of that too.

He looked at them surprised, maybe a little betrayed. “No, okay? No. This doesn’t get smoothed over by one conversation and one vengeful… minion, or whatever she was. I’m not saying you should go away forever- again- but I’m not saying we’ll ever be whatever family you’ve suddenly decided we should be. Ever. Got it?”

“Hey,” James kept as still as he could, calm as he could, knowing extra stimulus would just make Winn more agitated right now. “Buddy, let’s just take a breather for a sec, okay? Before you say anything you regr-”

“Why are you all on my case about this?” he sounded genuinely confused by it. “Why is it on me? You don’t even know her.”

“Winn,” Alex tried for that competent, big-sister-tone, the one Winn usually (eagerly) responded to. “It’s more complicated than that, you know that.”

He stared at her again, a weird not-smile on his face. “My mom abandoning me was complicated? Yeah, explain that to me. What about that do _I_ not understand that you all are perfectly fine with.”

“I did it to save you, remember?” Mary tried again. “He was going to hurt you again.” ( _Again?_ James wanted to yelp out. But didn’t.) “Or kill you. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to protect you.”

“But you didn’t!” Winn finally snapped, half-shouted. James frowned at that, saw the rest of them do the same. “You made it worse. Everything was worse, and it has taken me _So. Long._ to have something good in my life again. And I don’t understand why you expect me to share that with you right away, as if nothing I went through happened!”

“It would have been bad if I had stayed,” she still sounded resolute. None of the wobble to her voice that Winn couldn’t keep out of his.

Winn laughed, rubbed at his eyes. “It was bad anyway. Where do you think I lived after you were gone and Dad was in prison?”

Mary froze, as if that thought had never occurred to her. “I- I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Foster care,” Alex offered softly, studying Winn more intently, something like guilt on her face.

Winn didn’t even acknowledge her. “The first home they put me in, it wasn’t- you know, it wasn’t all that bad. They didn’t talk to me unless they had to, but… but they weren’t mean. I mean sure, they didn’t look me in the eye, didn’t touch me, but...” A shrug, another of those not-smiles. “Lasted a couple weeks, and then they got scared of me, because it’s not like I was really talking all that much at that point, right? It’s not like _I_ was the one who could be scared of everything? No, I must be some psycho freak. Like my dad. Maybe that’s the reason my mom didn’t want me anymore. I was probably a danger to the other kids. To everyone. So they dumped me back in the system right in the middle of Dad’s trial. Real fun day to have to testify in court, let me tell ya.”

“Winn-”

“Second home did kinda suck. Lots of rules. Infractions. Punishments.”

She sighed. Not in exasperation, in something more tense. Maybe fear or regret. James found himself biting his lip to keep from making the same noise.

“Really strict. I wasn’t used to that, you know? Grew up being able to take care of myself, it’s not like you two gave me a real regimented household. But- but that home, _they_ were in charge. You did what they said, when they said it, and you didn’t complain. You were supposed to be grateful there was someone left on this planet that would deign to look after you. Dinner, that was a reward. For being _good._ ”

“Please don’t-”

He kept on, looking at her, wanting her to look at him and see all of this. It was something James couldn’t help but notice. Winn didn’t usually make eye contact all that much when he was upset. “Not a lot of touching in that house either. Not even to push you, lock you in the hall closet for the night if you’d been bad. They made you walk yourself in. It was _your_ punishment, how else were you going to learn.”

“I’m _sorry,_ I’m-”

“The third home was just, like,” he kinda laughed, “ridiculously Christian. Nice people but, swear to God, I thought maybe they were Amish at first. And when you’ve been raised Jewish? Yeah, they gave up on me after like three weeks.” He ducked his head, hand coming up to rub at his jaw. “Fourth home didn’t have a problem with touching.”

It felt like the floor dropping out from under his feet. James squeezed his hands into tighter and tighter fists. Winn’s speech had been leading to this, they all knew it, they shouldn’t be surprised...

“I mean, you didn’t notice it earlier, Mom? Nothing about me looked different to you?” Winn’s thumb came around to trace his chin. And the scar there on the right side. James fought the urge to reach out, yank Winn’s hand away from it, pull him into a hug, something. They’d all seen the scar there, hadn’t they? And just never thought- “Paul had a really big ring on his right hand. One of those, like, high school state championship rings. Football, I’m sure. I mean,” a not-smile, wider, almost blinding and so Winn and so not-Winn that it hurt, “that’s the cliche, right?”

“Please, stop,” Mary whispered, her hands reaching first for him- just for a second- and then framing her own face, distraught. 

“What did you _think_ was going to happen to me when you left?” Winn’s voice finally cracked. “There was no one else in my life, did you not- did you forget foster care existed? Did you forget what that would mean for me? And why-” he stopped to gather his breath again, shaking on the inhale, “why didn’t you ever come _back_?” He pulled away again, stepping back from all of them, arms coming up around himself protectively. “You couldn’t even just- just check in? Need to see how I was doing? You- you could’ve… you could’ve stopped him. If you’d thought to check on me. Just _once_.”

“I couldn’t-”

“You didn’t even have to tell me you were there. You could’ve stayed in a parked car across the street. Done a whole stakeout thing. You’d have seen bruises, stitches, the sling I needed for two months, from that far away. I promise.”

Kara made some noise then, anguished, unable to stop herself. It seemed to startle Winn for a second, like he’d forgotten the rest of them were there. He coughed, or maybe sobbed, some short, quick, painful sound. Shook his head, focused back on Mary. “I’m sorry, really, that Dad was so awful to you, and I do understand that you had to get away. From him. But that’s it. You don’t get to act like this now. Not when you could’ve-” Another shake of his head, backing away even more, looking at all of them, somewhere between hurt and accusing. “None of you get to act like this.” And then he was pushing out the door- dodging, minimizing any contact, ducking around an outstretched hand from a teary-eyed Alex- and disappearing down the hall. 

There was something heavier than silence left in the room now. It was settled hard as a rock in James’s chest, something he had to try to breathe and swallow around. “I didn’t know.”

“None of us did,” Kara whispered. She sat down heavily on a nearby stool, Mon-El’s hand going to her shoulder to steady both of them.

Mary took in a gulp of air, hands falling away from her face to smooth her shirt of invisible wrinkles. “I, um-” she cleared her throat, not looking at any of them now. “If you’ll all excuse me.” Her voice wavered but held, some misplaced attempt at sounding proper all of a sudden.

Alex blocked her when she moved to the door. “Maybe you should give him a minute before-”

“I’m not going after Winn,” Mary continued to speak precisely, straightening her spine. “I think we all know it’s for the best that I don’t.”

“Wait, no, we don’t all know that,” Mon-El protested. 

At the same time, Kara pushed herself back to her feet. “Where are you going?”

“You can’t leave,” Alex added. “Not now. Not after everything he just...”

“Everything I do _hurts_ him,” Mary snapped. “Everything. Is it better to hurt him once by going, or hurt him every day by staying?”

“It’s better to stay,” James protested, quietly, gently (he hoped). “You leave him now, you’ll just prove every dark thought he has about himself, and you, right.” 

She almost- almost- crumpled at that, but then she was standing tall, recomposing herself. And James _hated_ that he could see Winn in that expression, locking away emotions, putting up a front. Winn’s front was usually humor; Mary’s was steel. “Get out of my way. Please.”

Alex glared at her for another moment, maybe two, and then took a step to the left, allowing Mary to leave the room. In the opposite direction that Winn had gone. Leaving another heavy, helpless silence behind.

It was surprising and not surprising that Mon-El was the one to break it. “It might not be a priority at the moment but, when this is all settled,” he turned to James specifically, jaw set and determined. “We’re going to find that ‘Paul’ guy, right?”

James had never liked him more than right then. “Damn right we are.”

***

It usually takes exactly eighteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds for Winn to get from his station to ‘his’ spot on the roof. Take the elevator all the way up, go through the roof access door, around the corner to the left, duck down between an air shaft and a cooling vent and bam - his spot. When he needed a break, a real break, from work and people and the expectations and socializing and joking and having to be ‘on’ all the time and everything, he could hide up on the roof. He was pretty sure nobody thought of him as a ‘getting fresh air’ type guy, so it worked.

And tonight, tonight it only took like thirteen minutes, factoring in he was already on a higher floor and he was almost… wait, nope, yep, he was definitely running. He didn’t even realize it until he’d gotten to the air shaft and he was pretty much skidding to a halt, shoes sliding just a little on the gravel.

He leaned back against the vent and slid down until he was sitting, knees drawn up to hide his face in them. (Like how he used to sit in that damn closet. All night. In the cold and dark and-)

“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it-” he muttered it on repeat, in time with his breaths. Or maybe slower than his breaths, to try to keep from hyperventilating. He really had just… just told them. Just, like, laid some stuff out there. His mom, his friends-

God, Kara really was never going to look at him the same way ever again. Pity Puppy Eyes, for the rest of his cursed life. Damn it.

He found himself bringing his arms up around his head, hands clasping together, face still pressed into his knees. The crash position. Because this was all leading to a crash, right?

God _damn_ it.

The words weren’t working, so he bit his lip instead, trying to hold his breaths in for just a second longer, anything to-

“In for four, Winn, come on. In for four, out for seven.”

He could hear the voice, he could even recognize it. Or recognize that he was supposed to recognize it, but he couldn’t conjure up a face and he couldn’t look up, so instead he just listened.

“In, two three four. Out, two three four five six seven. Again.”

He breathed. Maybe not quite on the tempo the voice wanted, but he kept breathing, at least.

“Good. That’s good. You got this.” The voice belonged to a body, probably, voices tended to do that, because it felt like someone was crouched down in front of him. Not touching, thank God, but right there. Not a threat, though. Winn could sense that much.

He breathed some more. He didn’t move his hands. He didn’t open his eyes. He sat still (well, not really still, because he couldn’t stop shaking), and he breathed.

After awhile the voice and the body moved to the side. No longer counting, just a steady presence sitting at his left. “Is there something I can do? Do you need a medic, or...?”

He shook his head. He blinked a few times, slowly uncurling his arms and his body, his muscles sore as though he’d run a marathon. “Sorry.”

There was a noticeable pause. “What are you sorry for, Winn?”

He shrugged. It had felt like the right thing to say. “You don’t have to sit here,” he frowned at his own voice, how rough it sounded. “With me.”

“No, maybe I don’t,” the voice said, weirdly kind. “But I’m choosing to.”

Winn huffed a little, turning his head without raising it off his knees to look at J’onn. Because that’s who was sitting on the dusty, dirty, gravel-y roof next to him. The director of a government agency. An alien superhero. _His boss._ “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not,” he mumbled. “How much did you hear or,” he waved a hand around his face. “Hear?”

“Would you like me to lie?” J’onn was… he was never patronizing, Winn realized. Like, ever. 

“No.”

“I heard most everything. Felt you from downstairs, and was making my way up to the medbay when you…” he trailed off respectfully.

“Monologued my tragic backstory?” Winn supplied, fighting the urge to turn his face back to his knees again. To hide.

“Something like that, yes.” J’onn nodded, settled back to look up at the stars calmly. 

Without eyes on him, Winn felt his breathing get a little easier. “Can you see Mars from here?” he found himself asking, a little embarrassed at how small and plaintive he sounded.

J’onn didn’t give any indication that he’d heard it like that. “Most nights, yes. Not from your usual spot here, but from the other side of the roof you have a pretty clear view.”

“You knew about my hiding spot?”

“Agent Schott, one day you’ll have to accept that I know everything,” a smile softened his stern tone.

“Sir yes sir,” he felt half a smile on his own face. He was almost back to normal with the whole breathing thing. Maybe he could get through this unscathed-

“For instance,” J’onn turned back, eyes locked on his and determined. “I know that you are a good person.”

Aaaaaaand there was the return of panicked breathing. “Don’t-”

“You have been through some awful things in your life,” J’onn continued, and the strength in his voice alone was enough to pin Winn down and keep him from bolting. “All the worse because none of those things were your fault.”

“ _Don’t,_ -” he tried again.

“Alex may have had to convince me to bring you into the DEO, but since you’ve been here, I haven’t regretted it once. The work you’ve done is astounding, but even more than that, what you bring to us by being _you_ is,” J’onn chuckled, shook his head. “Irreplaceable.” He paused, then slowly reached out a hand, giving Winn the time to move away if he wanted to. Winn didn’t, let it rest on his shoulder. “I’m proud to have you on my team, Winn. I’m proud of _you_.”

“No,” he protested, he couldn’t help it. Hiding his face again, even though he knew J’onn would know he was crying now. “I’m- I’m not…”

J’onn’s hand moved to the back of his neck, squeezing gently. “That wasn’t family, kid, what any of those people did to you or made you think about yourself. This, right here, us- we’re family. We’re yours. It may be a bit of a rough going right now, and from time to time we’ll get things wrong, but we’re never not going to be here for you. Understand?”

Winn really kinda didn’t. Family was Not His Thing, and he didn’t get it. It didn’t make _sense,_ and he didn’t have an algorithm or code to solve the puzzle and that- that was upsetting. _Love can’t be based on an algorithm._ He’d said something like that to Kara at one point, hadn’t he? He sucked in a breath, heaved it out with a half-sigh, half-laugh. “This really sucks, Papa Bear.”

Another chuckle, another squeeze to his neck, and then J’onn slid his hand up and ruffled Winn’s hair lightly before standing. “It really does. Come on.” 

Winn looked up, blinking the last of his tears away, sniffling, as J’onn offered his hand. “Can’t I just, like, hide up here for a couple more weeks?”

He smiled. “How much longer do you think the Danvers family’s patience will hold out?”

“Okay, yeah, okay, but-” he allowed J’onn to pull him to his feet but resisted moving back to the door. “I just… said, like, so much bad stuff to everyone and yelled at them all and-”

“And they’re all going to try to find ways to make it up to you. At the very least, doesn’t it seem like a good idea to get that over with as soon as possible?”

“You’re killing it with the Space Dad Wisdom tonight,” he muttered, dutifully but reluctantly following J’onn back inside. “But no, I kinda left a big mess and made everyone feel bad and-”

“‘Yelled at them all?’ How long have we known each other, Winn, and you think _that_ was yelling?” Alex was standing at the elevator bank, arms crossed, trying to look badass and cool and nonchalant. Trying. But her shoulders were a little too hunched and her eyes were red and her glare was half-hearted (half-guilty) at best.

Winn shrugged, feeling so damn awkward and awful. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t know how to play along with her teasing. “I don’t like yelling at people.”

Alex flinched a little- so little, just barely- and then stepped right into his space, pulling him into a hug. J’onn’s hand on his back kept him from getting away, kept him in the embrace. It took a few seconds, but his arms remembered what to do, coming up to hug her back. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, more into his shoulder than his ear. “I- I love you, okay? I’ll do whatever I can to make this-”

“Yeah,” he tucked his face into her neck a little. “I mean, I don’t know if there is anything that can make this-”

“Yeah,” she pulled back, ducking her head to make sure he met her gaze. “But it’s not like I’ve ever let that stop me before.”

He managed to hold the eye contact for another second or two before nodding, looking back down to the floor, brain too fried to come up with a joke to follow it up.

Alex cupped his face for a second, startling him with how careful and sweet it was, then took his unbandaged hand and led him and J’onn back into the elevator. “Winn, don’t- don’t push yourself to be the one to fix this, okay?”

He felt himself maybe start to panic again, grateful somewhere in the back of his mind that J’onn and Alex didn’t decide to stand on either side of him, box him in. He opened his mouth to say something (argue?), but what came out was, “She left, didn’t she?”

The pause before she answered told him enough. “I think she needed a break too. I don’t think she’s really gone,” Alex finally said. “And I’m not just saying that, I promise.”

“At least I’m prepared for it this time,” he muttered, wincing when Alex and J’onn both heard him anyway and pretended not to look at him sadly. He shrugged, tried not to seem petulant. _Childish._ “Sorry.”

Alex was still holding his hand, which he only remembered when she squeezed it gently. “Just for tonight, you don’t apologize for anything, got it? Don’t be the fixer.”

The elevator doors opened up not on the first floor, where all the agents were milling around, or- thank God- the second floor and the medbay, but to the garage. It was nearly empty, quiet, lights dimmed. Winn felt something in his chest loosen just slightly at that, allowing him to breathe easier. His car was _right there,_ he was almost gone, he was almost-

But his hand wasn’t being led in that direction, it was going towards Alex’s car. Winn stopped abruptly, almost literally dug his heels in. “Alex.”

She stopped too, hesitated, looked him over. “You good to drive?” She didn’t try to argue, persuade him to go with her. He kinda really loved her for that.

He nodded. “I just need some time. I’m going straight home, I promise.” He really just wanted to sleep, anyway. Sleep and just be able to forget for a little while what happened in the last twenty-four… thirty-six? When had they gone to karaoke?... hours. He was going to really, really sleep. Like, hard.

And he loved Alex a little more for squeezing his hand one more time before letting go. “Okay. Will you, uh, text me, then? If you need anything?”

Another nod, clearing his throat, and an awkward kinda shuffle to his car, way too aware of Alex and J’onn watching him. “Thanks for… yeah,” he tried, rubbing at his jaw, his mouth, his whole messed up face.

Alex smiled, and J’onn just nodded back. “You’re off the duty roster for the weekend,” he said, voice firm against Winn’s frown. “No, no arguments. You’re overdue some time off anyway, and this way when you come back on Monday there’ll have been at least seventeen new catastrophes people will be talking about instead of today. That’s an order.”

He meant to say ‘yes sir’ or ‘thanks’ or something, but his throat closed up a little, so he just nodded again- three for three with the whole head nodding, yay- and got into his car. And with the door shut and some metal and glass between him and them and him and the world… his lungs started working again. Better, at least. He took a deep breath and let it out without choking at all, started up his car, and drove home.

He was maybe a little more centered, and little more himself, by the time he got inside, instinctively locking both locks, the deadbolt, and the chain. Unfortunately, ‘himself’ was still a massive pit of festered anxiety, so he couldn’t help but immediately wonder if he’d need all those locks tonight. What if his father had another minion out there? What if he’d brainwashed or manipulated someone else as a failsafe? What if Paul or Mrs. Thomas or any of those people from his childhood had heard the news and decided to find him? What if-

A jolt in his back pocket broke him out of the spiral. His phone. Vibrating. Winn shoved himself away from the door, glaring at it for having the audacity to trigger him right now, and fumbled for it. There’s no way Alex would be so quick to pester him so that left…

Yep. The other Danvers.

_We’re a text away if you need us._

Winn stared at it for a good solid minute, then at the attached photo. A tub of ice cream, pizza, a bottle of scotch (that was James’s favorite brand, he recognized it), some DVDs he couldn’t make out. All sitting in bags ready to go on Kara’s dining room table. Hands that were definitely Kara’s attempting to form one of those heart gesture things above them.

Another vibration. Another text, this time from Mon-El.

_She said pictures like this make you smile? WHAT ARE THESE THINGS???_

And a couple accompanying photos of baby sloths. Some of them even wearing the little pajamas those sanctuaries in Costa Rica made for the orphan ones and-

Winn was laughing a little, and crying a little too, and managed to force his jellified legs to carry him to his couch. He flipped back and forth between both texts, the photos. Scotch. Heart hands. Baby sloths.

Maybe… maybe his old ways of coping weren’t necessary anymore?

_Come over._ He sent it to three numbers.

By the time he locked his phone and tossed it onto the coffee table, Kara was at the window, using the secret outside latch Winn had installed last year so she could enter on her own. He watched, curling up against one arm of the couch, tucking his feet in under him, as she made a show of re-locking the window. That was nice of her.

“Hi,” she said, coming to sit quietly on the floor next to him.

“Hi,” he said back.

“Mon-El and James are bringing the food and stuff,” she reached out her hand, left it palm-up on the couch cushion near his.

“Scotch?” he had to double-check.

“Scotch too,” she nodded, smiled a little.

He reached out timidly and clasped his hand with hers. Kara’s smile got a little more real, and she leaned in until their foreheads rested against each other. “Mon-El doesn’t know what sloths are,” he mumbled, closing his eyes.

She legit giggled, shaking the both of them with it. “We’ll have to ease him into it. I don’t think he’s ready for the full-on sloth love that we have.”

“A love that dare not squeak its name,” the reply was instinctive. Like so much of this was.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” He tried to keep the sigh in, but knowing her super-hearing there’s no way he was successful. “You were right to be upset with us. Even if we didn’t know… everything, we should’ve been better at being on your side. Because we are, Winn. We’re with you. No matter what.”

“Am I gonna get uncomfortable pep talks from everybody tonight?”

“I think we call them ‘apologies.’ At least we did on Krypton, I don’t know, maybe it’s different on Earth.”

He appreciated the jokes, he really did. He smiled a little to show her, then sighed again for real when someone put a key through the front door’s lock. Apologies. Okay. Alex said he wasn’t allowed to do those tonight, but everyone else was probably going to-

“Oh come on,” James whined from the door, “Really?” His hand flailed through the sliver of open space between the door and the frame.

He’d forgotten he’d put the chain on it tonight. He sat back up, allowing Kara to super-speed over and open the door for James and Mon-El. James somehow managed to pocket his key (Winn had given him the spare months ago), shove all the food and alcohol at Mon-El while pointing him and Kara towards the kitchen, and take a seat next to Winn in the span of one (admittedly sluggish) blink of Winn’s eye.

They kinda looked at each other, James going through a couple expressions- contrite, regretful- before settling on something between apologetic and… and fond, maybe? Winn wasn’t too sure. He was even less sure of what was on his own face, so hey, who was he to judge. James smiled, tapped his own upper arm in unspoken invitation. And yeah, like Winn was going to pass that up. He moved over an inch or two, resettling with his head resting on James’s shoulder, both of them facing the TV.

“I’m not gonna ask, because I know you’re not okay but I know you _will_ be,” James said it nice and matter-of-factly. “And I’m not gonna pretend to know exactly how you’re feeling right now. But whatever I can do, or not do, or whatever, you just tell me. And if you’re a little pissed at me right now, that’s fine. Because I’m pissed at me.”

Winn shrugged a little. “You didn’t know-”

“Yeah, exactly. So I shouldn’t have assumed my little talk about my mom would directly apply to you too. That wasn’t fair of me.” He took a deep breath, resolute. “I wasn’t being a good friend. Or brother. I’m sorry.”

_Brother._ Winn swallowed heavily, closed his eyes so he could hide that tiny bit. “Y’know, that first time you called me that. In- in the van? That was…” he huffed out a laugh. “I couldn’t fall asleep that night. I couldn’t settle down. It’s dumb, but nobody had ever, uh…” His voice fell to a hush. “Before you and Kara, I hadn’t even really had _friends,_ let alone… that.” 

He’d emancipated himself from the state and his parents and gone straight to college on a couple scholarships when he was sixteen. Being so much younger and, let’s be honest, traumatized from the previous six years of his life, he hadn’t been able to connect with that many people. A couple teachers had been nice, sure, but friends? Big ol’ nope. 

James was quiet for a second, his hands tensing like he wanted to hit someone, and Winn very purposefully didn’t tense along with them. But he maybe let out a little relieved breath when James relaxed again. “Well you got ‘em now,” he finally said. “More than you think. Demos threatened to kick my ass tonight.”

“What?” he yelped, eyes flying open.

James grinned, fond again. “For upsetting you. He doesn’t know the specifics, don’t worry. But I think a lot of those agents want to look out for you.”

“Some aliens do too,” Mon-El and Kara had no doubt been waiting just out of sight for the mood to lighten, and now they came in, both of them settling on the floor in front of Winn. Mon-El reached up and clasped Winn’s knee, managing to smile and look solemn at the same time. “Winn, there are a couple things I will say, and I’ll say them very quickly to avoid making this awkward. Then we can drink. Okay?” He waited for Winn’s (now slightly terrified) nod before continuing. “First, you were my very first friend on this planet, and I swear I’m going to live up to that honor. Second-” he exchanged a quick glance with Kara, “-some very smart people have shown me that despite where I came from and who my parents were… that doesn’t have to be a reflection of me.” He held out a glass with a very generous portion of liquor. “Done. Drink!”

Winn drank.

***

Alex spotted her the second she got out of the car, but pretended to be digging through her purse for something for a little bit of cover, just to see what Mary’s plan was.

Which, apparently, was to approach Alex. “Agent Danvers?”

Alex sighed, dropped the pretense. She kept her phone nearby in case she needed to call anyone, but a quick glance told her Mary was weaponless, harmless. (Physically, at least.) “Does Winn know you’re here lurking outside his building?”

She frowned, maybe flinched, at the word ‘lurking,’ but thankfully shook her head. “No, I- I’ve been standing out here for almost an hour. Trying to decide what to do.”

Well, she wasn’t getting up to the apartment any time soon, was she? Alex leaned back against her car, crossed her arms. “What to do about Winn?” 

Mary smiled so very sadly, and Alex could see the echoes of Winn’s in it. “I still think it’s best if I just go.”

“And I think it shouldn’t be your call to make.” 

“He doesn’t need me,” Mary argued. “Not when he has government agents and honest-to-God superheroes in his corner!”

“Of _course_ he does!” she snapped back. “You’re his _mother!_ And there’s-” her voice cracked, and thank God nobody else was around to hear that. “There’s a part of him that is still just a little kid waiting for his mom to tell him that he’s good and loved and things will be okay.” 

She pictured all the times Winn had just… just been there for her. For Kara, for James, J’onn. For Mon-El and Imra and Demos and everyone. How eager he was to help, how hard he was on himself to fix things. How the only times he asked for help were for other people- Lyra and her brother, Guardian... He never…

She cleared her throat. “We’re in his corner, yeah. And we’re always going to be. But he’s never really accepted that. He’s never thought he’s earned the help that he always gives us.” She took a step towards Mary, idly impressed that Mary didn’t take a step back in turn. “I’m not saying you become Carol Brady, but you are his mother, and you damn well could let him know he’s worth something despite it.”

Maybe they were both surprised by the outburst, but at least Mary seemed affected this time. “I don’t know how to do that.”

Alex tried to smile. “You just… you just do. Start small. But you have to let him know he’s worth sticking around for. Maybe phone calls, or…" Oh hell, Alex couldn't believe she was about to suggest this. "Or karaoke.”

“I- what?” Mary did an a pretty flawless double take. “Does that… mean something different in government agencies?”

She gave a watery laugh. “Tomorrow night. There’s a bar we go to after work. I can give you the address. It’s a good start.”

Mary blinked back a few tears, nodded. “I- He’s just going to tell me to leave again. He _should_ tell me to leave again.”

“He should be the one to decide,” Alex said softly, moving around Mary to the door of the building while making it clear that she shouldn’t follow. “And if I know anything about your son, it’s that he’s always capable of more than you’d think.”

The apartment was quiet and dark when she let herself in, having bullied Winn for a spare key when she heard he gave one to James. She could hear the TV on, though, and see the shadows playing off the screen from around the corner of his entryway. 

Kara was the only one awake, sitting on the floor. The boys were all piled on the couch behind her, Winn in the middle with James and Mon-El providing somewhat protective barriers on either side. An empty bottle of scotch was on the coffee table, as was an empty pizza box and empty carton of ice cream. Kara was finishing off the rest of the popcorn bowl, but held it up to Alex when she stepped into view.

“Everything okay here?” she kept her voice low, joining her sister on the floor.

Kara rolled her eyes. “No. They all fell asleep by the time we got to the Battle of Helm’s Deep,” she nodded towards the movie. “So now I’m going to have to wait for the next movie night to finish the trilogy, and I was really in the mood to watch Eowyn kick ass against a Nazgul tonight.”

“You’re saying, like, so many words I don’t understand right now,” Alex muttered. “Everything else okay?”

Kara glanced back at the couch, a small smile on her face. “I think so. He will be. He even made the effort to complain about the aspect ratio and color correct on the extended versus regular trilogy, so-” Off Alex’s incredulous look again, “Sorry. I just… yeah. He will be.” And then her eyes narrowed, knowing Alex so well, seeing something on her face. “What is it?”

Alex glanced back too, lowering her voice even more. “Mary was outside when I got here.” She grabbed Kara’s arm before she could move or accidentally wake up the guys. “It’s fine, I handled it. But- for better or worse- I don’t think she’s leaving town just yet.”

Kara relaxed back to the floor. “For better. It’s what Winn needs, so it has to be for better.”

“Yeah,” she leaned her head against Kara’s. “And we’ve got his back.”

“Yeah we do.”

A hand flopped down between them and clumsily patted their shoulders. “Yes. You do. I love you both. Now shh. ‘M tired.”

Alex took the hand in one hand and Kara’s in the other. “Yes dear.” Because she did have his back. Because he’d never not had hers. Because they- all of them here- didn’t always have much, but they did have each other.

Because there’s nothing family wouldn’t do for each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> And I don't know if this needs to be said, but so not to upset anyone: I'm not at all trying to make light of or put spectacle on how Jeremy Jordan actually got his scar- which is very different story from Winn's. (I have some pretty nasty scars from a car accident too, so my dude, I feel ya.)


End file.
